I hope mine doesn't look like that
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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