wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
