All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Mom said you looked used
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
