so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
