You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
