We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
