the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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