pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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