that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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