all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
