you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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