I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just googled if crying burns calories
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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