i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
