physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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