All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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