YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
