ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
