dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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