are you still at the devil's house?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
