shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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