p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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