Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
