So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
