i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
