yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
