I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
