Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
