Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
