I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize