I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
