It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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