I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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