We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
