i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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