Pappa wants mamma naked
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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