I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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