guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize