I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
did i just pee glitter
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
