please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize