I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
