White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
