can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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