Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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