Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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