So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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