You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
