Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
