I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
They are going to name an STD after you.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
