Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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