You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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