We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
