ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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