Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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