i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
