You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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