I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Small penises have feelings too.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
