New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
