I wanna passion pit in your ass
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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