HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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