just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize