I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
