Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
