sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
