My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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