I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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