my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
