So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
