We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize