Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
