I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
